This is one I really want people to comment on…
Why do women feel so bad about wanting and needing sex?
Why do they feel like sluts if they sleep with a guy when they know there is not a future with them?
Do men feel that way?
Do they say to themselves oh I’m settling, I’m such a slut?
I highly doubt it.
I know I don’t. But I’m not a normal woman.
I just witnessed a friend go through a complete mental breakdown because to put it plain and simple she needed sex.
She needed a mans touch. She needed a man to take her into his arms and take control of her and for her to have the opportunity to take control of him.
Does that make her a slut?
In my mind. Absolutely not. It makes her human. However, deep in her mind she has it ingrained somehow that unless she plans to marry this guy, she is a slut if she sleeps with someone.
This infuriates me. I’m NOT ok with this.
Nobody bats an eye about a man sleeping with a woman whom he thinks is merely hot and has no future intentions of anything with them. NOT A SINGLE PERSON.
So please help me out in understanding why a woman should?
Let me say, it’s hard for me to express my sexuality socially. Number one, because I work with children, I have a huge heart for them and I want to be a example for them. Number two, because I’m far from an angel. So it scares me. Because I never want to hurt my reputation as a human. I want people to trust and respect me. I know that people have major judgements in regards to sex. So I am trying to write this with as much honesty as I can without completely damaging my reputation.
However, I am pissed off that woman can’t be openly sexual human beings. First of all, if women don’t allow men in…they could never have sex. That is the power we have. We could all revolt and close our bodies off to men. If that happened, what would the world be like?!?!
My answer? It would be an angry and sad place. We were meant for intimacy. Does that mean I think we need to sleep around with whomever. Absolutely not. I think we should trust our instincts. We should trust that feeling that comes to us when someone touches something inside of us, and we should be open to whatever that leads to. We can’t deny our basic human needs, and if we can find the integrity within our need to have sex. We will find ourselves making wise choices in whom we share our bodies with.
I think we should also know that ultimately we are all looking for that one person who fills up the entire space of our being with theirs. That person who fulfills every level of need and quite frankly that we know to be our life partner. That person who challenges us and makes us want to be better, without telling us they need us to be better. I don’t really think we are meant for multiple people, I think that we are actually deeply ingrained with the need for our twin flame. However, as we go along on this path. We also are learning what it is we need. What it is that brings us joy. Oftentimes, we can’t know these things without other people helping us to see what that is.
So what is my point? Well it is simply this…Women are sexual beings. They need SEX and intimacy. Their is nothing wrong with them receiving it when it becomes available to them and it fulfills them. As we all know finding the ONE is not an easy task for all of us, so along the way to the one their may be some romance and passion that is actually required to get to the ultimate destination. This does NOT make women sluts. It makes them human.
I wrote this months ago…or I started this months ago and finished it now. I think that what will help us out as human beings is to heal the “filth” around our sexuality by calling it what it is and taking back our power by owning our humanity. I think we will make wiser choices with whom our sexual partners are and cherish our bodies when we no longer shame that which makes us human.
I don’t want women to go out giving their bodies for unnecessary unhealthy attention and frankly I don’t want that for men either. Men should also understand that they are giving their energy away as well and to consider if the person they are about to do so with, is worthy of their body and spirit.
miasgardenofeden 
Interesting .. so there are the obvious reasons we have the stereotypes that range from patriarchy and catholicism. There was and is a social value placed on women that is rooted in religion and ownership. If a woman is a virgin she is pure closer to God and is therefore more deserving of the finer things in life andnis more valuable. This is flawed thinking .. prior to catholicism there was a balanced perception regarding sex in most cultures. You look at Roman or Greek culture and Indigenous stories you see that the act of sex is the act of finding or creating balance or better yet mirroring creation. Now in contemporary times I think that the “need” is not always a healthy one . We have deep traumas that are not addressed , a society that views women as sex object and not people and a lack of healthy relationships to study and lean from. In my own opinion I think that we should evaluate what is in the best interest of ourselves and our communities and then make a educated decision if we want to have sex and with whom. I myself rather enjoy a partner that is more experienced she has a greater comfort with herself and the intimate moments are much sweeter and far more enjoyable.
There is so much truth and depth to this response. I could definitely go further in talking about what “need” means. You are absolutely correct that the need is not always a healthy one. In that place, we have to ask ourselves what we are really seeking. When I say need for me, it is absolutely in that sense of the “need” to imitate creation. The creative energy and the fulfillment of creating magic with someone else, is simply wonderful. I can’t say every time I thought I needed sex, I really needed sex. I often times needed attention or excitement, or to hide from something, to numb the pain. However, as I grow in myself and understand myself more I truly love making a mindful decision to share myself with someone and the energy it creates. It’s funny I posted this now, because really where I’m at is that the thing I want the most is to fall in someone’s arms and simply BE there. Sex isn’t even at the forefront of my needs right now. However, I really felt like sharing this…because I know we all struggle with our sexuality.
Gigolo
Hahahahaha!! This apple fell from your tree.